There’s a lot happening in the world right now, and it can feel deeply overwhelming. In those moments, instead of turning inward and practicing the kind of self-care that helps us feel safe, calm, and nourished, many of us unconsciously abandon ourselves.
So in this moon phase, we’re exploring self-abandonment; how it shows up, why it happens, and what it takes to begin healing it.
Self-Abandonment Isn’t Just a Big Thing
We tend to think self-abandonment only happens in relationships or with big life decisions, but truthfully?
It happens in the smallest moments.
It’s in the moment the headlines trigger sadness, but instead of crying, you scroll and snack to numb the ache.
It’s when you’re exhausted, but instead of resting, you open five shopping tabs.
Or when you close your laptop mid-meditation because your mind is racing and it “isn’t working.”
What I Tell My Clients
Self-Abandonment comes up with so many of my clients and I usually have them start practicing meditation or breathwork.
They say, “I can’t calm my mind.” And I remind them that’s not the goal.
The goal is to stay with yourself, even when your thoughts are spinning, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when your brain is yelling at you about what to make for dinner.
That’s the practice.
That’s where healing begins, when you stay instead of leave.
When you breathe instead of bail.
When you notice the discomfort and gently say, “I’m here for you.”
My Personal Resistance
This has shown up in my own life too.
One reason it took me so long to start a weight loss journey is because I didn’t want to sit with the frustration of cooking. It was so much easier to order pizza.
But easy didn’t support my goal.
And that moment of noticing my resistance and choosing myself anyway was a shift.
Because I was no longer abandoning myself just to avoid discomfort of meal planning and cooking. I was learning to stay, and I was able to lose 30 lbs.
Settling in Relationships
And I’ve seen this same pattern in my relationships too.
I remember going back to an ex, over and over again, even though I knew he wasn’t right for me. Even though I felt small, unseen, and unvalued with him.
But I couldn’t be with the discomfort of being single.
I couldn’t be with the silence, the empty weekends, or the thought of going to the movies alone and wondering if people were judging me.
So I stayed and settled. And that relationship lasted way longer than it ever should have.
Because deep down, I was turning away from myself.
Dismissing my worth. Trading what I deserved for what felt easier in the moment.
That too… is self-abandonment.
The Healing…
Healing begins when we finally name it not with shame, but with compassion.
Because you can’t come home to yourself until you realize you’ve been gone.
If you’ve ever pushed down your truth or avoided your feelings just to stay comfortable you’re not alone.
I pulled a healing practice from my archives just for you.
This guided energy healing with Goddess Kali helps you bring compassion to the part of you you’ve been running from.
A sacred space to meet your shadow with softness… and call yourself back home.
Press play when you’re ready.
Why Goddess Kali?
Kali is the goddess of fierce transformation. She burns away illusion, helping us confront the truth we’ve been avoiding. In this visualization, she holds a protective, loving space so that you can meet the parts of yourself you’ve rejected and call them home.
Self-Abandonment Energy Healing w/ Goddess Kali
17 minutes | Video with visualization + tapping + integration
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